Purpose?

So the past few days have been pretty stressful. 3 runaway attempts. My daughters bedroom now has only a mattress and a few clothes she needs in it. We even took her shoes so she can't try to run away. She has no access to any computer or telephone. Essentially she has to earn back any privilege. That includes make-up, jewelry, etc. I also think we are going to get a second opinion on residential care. I hate the thought of losing her to it again, but right now she is on a road that I am afraid is going to lead to death or jail, and I can't imagine they would be a better place for her.

My real question for thought today is this. God obviously knew what her condition would be when she came to this world. He knew of her difficulties and I don't think she came to our family just by chance. He knew she would need a certain set of parents to help her the best they could, to give her the best chance for success in this life. So given that belief (which I really do believe), what is it he thinks I can do for her? How am I supposed to be able to help her? I pray for her. I love her. I haven't given up on her - though at times I claim to. Sometimes I really wonder what my role is for her. I have so many issues myself. I admit that I see a lot of my weaknesses in her, and she probably has learned some of her poor coping skills from me. I do keep trying though (maybe that is some sort of example for her). I just wonder at times if my emotional weaknesses add to her emotional problems. And today I really ask the question what does God think I can do to help her? Obviously it is something or she wouldn't have been sent to us.

I am not saying God caused her problems. We each came to earth with our own weaknesses to overcome. But I do believe that he sent us to the best possible situation to over come those weaknesses. He didn't leave us to flounder. So if that is the case, what is my role in helping her? I wish I had the answer to that. Sometimes though I just feel as though I am floundering through it all.

I am glad today is Sunday. I hope to go to church and get some much needed uplifting and recharging. I know he hasn't abandoned us, but sometimes I do wish I had a little more than line upon line. I wish I had a solution. Trust and Faith are something I am finding I am maybe not so strong in. That isn't true. I still have trust and faith, but it is perhaps life the man in the bible who stated to Christ, "I believe, help thou my unbelief". I guess I don't have that unwavering belief in this situation. I know he can help. I have no doubt in that. But I truly believe in this case he sees a purpose for us all in learning to deal with this trial. So I don't believe he will change it, and at times that really makes me angry. I want the healing not the endurance. So I know I am fighting against God's will, but it is hard to see and accept His will when she is hurting so badly and we are as well. And I know that is where faith comes in. So again my question for the day is what is my role in this? How am I to act and respond to help her and yet still have faith in His plan and his time scale? It is a difficult question to answer.