Thursday, February 12, 2015

Death and Divorce

Wow..... The past few weeks have been filled with Death.  First Charlene's father in law died, and then my cousins Lynn and her husband Jack Hannum died within 12 hours of each other, both battling diseases they have had for a long time, and then Lill's Father in Law has a massive Stroke and dies suddenly.  Grandpa I expect to go before the end of the year, but he is still holding on.   It's just all at once and so many and it was just shocking to me.  The Divorce part comes from Alicyn.  She has decided to Divorce Chad.  It breaks my heart.  I know she hasn't been happy for a while, and I know that Chad can be hard to deal with, but he really loves her and he hasn't changed from when she married him.  He still does the same things, acts the same way... It's not like she didn't know what she was getting into.  I think when she decided to have kids and introduce new things into her life, he just wasn't ready and couldn't handle it as a normal adult, after all he is not normal. But he agreed to it all because he loves Alicyn.  I know she feels like she is the only parents and that she has 4 kids.  I get that.  I know that he annoys her, but I also know that is isn't one sided.  She hasn't been very nice to him for years.  She hasn't treated him with respect for years.  He of course has let his mother rule his life even when married, and whatever she said went.  That wasn't good either.  The kids don't show Chad much respect either which isn't good.  I have felt so badly that I finally wrote a message to her.  I don't think she liked it.  I do think what she is doing is wrong.  I think she made an eternal vow and needs to do all she can to make it work, but she is now not even willing to try.  He is heartbroken and so upset, and she just doesn't seem to care.  It all came to a head because they haven't been paying bills again and lost the house, and she figured is she had to move, she was not moving with him.  I thought she would be pretty mad at me for expressing my opinions.  I did tell her I loved her and would support her no matter what she chose, but that I couldn't feel good unless I told her what I felt.  I sat by her at Lill's dad's funeral and we worked things out and she wan't too mad at me.  I don't want to lose a sister.  I just want what is best for anyone, and perhaps this will be better for the other.  I just don't know.

Anyway.... All of this has been hard, along with us visiting grandpa every day.  I have felt overwhelmed a bit as well.  Things will kept better, they always do.
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