Thursday, February 12, 2015


First week of November -- Grandpa is such  a positive example for me.  We have seen him regularly and almost daily since he went to the rehab center.  He is still holding on, but not really improving.Getting slowly worse.  He stays in bed at all times and never gets up.  He is confused a lot of the time.  the other day when we went to visit him he wanted to go home to his house.  He couldn't believe that he would have sold it.  He has and infection that causes severe diarrhea that he caught from the facility and he has been in terrible pain that way for a while.  They put his back on Hospice.  Most days though he is cheery.  He has such an upbeat personality. I sure do love him.  He is in the nursing side of the facility until his infection clears up and then they will move him to a new place. He always knows who we are though and is so excited to see us.

Dad got a letter in the mail the other day from a psychiatrist in Florida congratulating him on the marriage of his son.  What a way to find out.  Cole and David's announcement was in the New York times.  This person had seen it and was writing a book about straight parents with Gay kids and wanted to know if they would be interested in being interviewed.  Needless to say, but no.  That set off a firestorm.  He thought Mom knew, and was quite upset, and when she said no, she didn't know, she confronted me.  So I told the whole thing and shared with her the whole thing and the why.  Dad was mad no one had told them.  I finally told him because we wanted to avoid exactly what was happening.  He cut off Cole for a while.  He is hurting, Mom is hurting and Cole is hurting.  Got to the point that Cole said he wasn't coming home for Christmas.  Been trying to work through all of this with them.  All I can do is hope and pray.  God has to soften hearts on both sides.

Makae broke up with James after he physically hurt her.    She found a new boyfriend but has been homeless.  I really don't like her on the streets, especially as winter is coming on.  We met her one night to give her her stuff and also bought her a warm sleeping bad and mattress and some stuff.  She was upset because she thought we would turn her in.  I don't know why she thinks that.  If we were going to turn her in, we would have already done that.  A few days after that her boyfriend was killed in a hit and run accident on his skateboard.  It really hurt Makae.  She called us and we went and got her.  We took care of her for a bit and then she wanted to go back down and be with all their "Street family" so we took her.  They put her up till the funeral.  After the funeral she wanted to come back home.  We said okay.  She also said she was willing to go into rehab, so we started finding places we could go to help her fulfill her probation requirements and also got her off the street and get her some help.  We found a place and took her down to meet them.  So we picked her up and took her down to the place and looked around.  She talked to the counselor privately and then came out and said nope, not for her.  She told him she has been having hallucinations and hearing voices, and that only marijuana keeps that at bay.  Her wants her to have a  full psychological evaluation.  That is all good, but it wont fulfill her probation requirements  or solve her housing issues or get her the help she needs. She told him even more she didn't want to be in rehab.  So why did we go through all of the work to set everything up if she was just going to say no.  It is just so sad.  She went back to her friends house to party.  I can't imagine she is happy, but there is so little I can do about that.  We saw a picture today that she drew of the demons in her life.  She explained the details, and part of it is her feat of her dad and brother.  I don't get that.  But she also drew blue around the demon because her mother always turns to God to fix her wayward daughter.  I took that as and insult but decided it is a compliment.  I do turn to God, because i know he has the ultimate power to fix her.  I am glad that she recognizes that.  even if for now she sees if as stupid or a fault of mine, it isn't and it will ring true to her sometime.  I love her so much and it kills me to see her suffer.
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