Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Two things I never imagined I'd do.
After two days of being with us she asked if they could live here as they had no place to go. Shawn and I discussed it and decided perhaps letting her have a good family experience, and him as well, would be the best thing for her, and we didn't really want her living on the streets. So we said yes, if she was willing to work for her rent and he had to as well, and they had to obey our rules. The first week went okay, other than she and her boyfriend fought everyday. I was quite shocked at my decision to let them both stay. Had anyone asked me even 3 months ago if I would, the answer would be no way. Why would I let her boyfriend stay with us? So not what I believe in. But It seemed the right thing to do. Perhaps they would be able to learn from being in a family and having support and responsibilities. My family was aghast when they found out, and I got quite a few lectures, but ultimately you have to follow the spirit. In all moral ways I hadn't lowered my standards, after all sleeping together wasn't allowed. I didn't fool myself that they weren't doing it away from my house, or maybe even sneaking, but I had set up the boundaries. For a little bit it went okay. Like I said I found myself not knowing if the line between right and wrong, was grey, and was I blurring it, but it felt like the right thing to do. We fed them, clothed them, even getting them some new stuff. I offered her jobs to do to earn her fine money and her probation money etc. We took her to her drug tests. We tried to support her as best we could.
Anyway.... suffice it to say that over the next few weeks things got more and more difficult. She and her boyfriend continued to fight, to the point one day that she pretended to take a bunch of pills and I ended up having to call an ambulance to get her to the hospital. All of this just to keep a boy from leaving her. Anyway both she and her boyfriend were really pushing the rules and limits. She and her boyfriend started pulling their cots together at night after we had gone to bed and essentially sleeping in the same bed. I told them they couldn't. When they continued, Shawn told them one would sleep downstairs each night. James refused, so she did. But, still they were up till all hours of the night laying with each other on the couch. Shawn finally got angry and told them separate places after 11. They didn't do anything towards the rent for about 2 weeks. Finally after another infraction, Shawn was talking to Makae when James said he was leaving and with her (instead of doing his jobs he had been assigned) because we attack him each night and *&%$*&.. Anyway. Shawn yelled at him to watch his language. He was really at the end of his tolerance. James told him not to get so upset, and Shawn said we had warned him repeatedly about this. Then he went to stand by James and James said he was invading his personal space and proceeded to tell us what terrible people we were. Shawn told him to get out. He left with all of his belongings. Makae left with him. Then I see that she posted that she was at the police department filing a report. I messaged her and asked her what she was filing about and she tells me that she is reporting that either her dad or her brothers had been raping her every night while she was asleep. I told her that wasn't true, and she replied that just because I don't want to believe it doesn't make it not true. I told her to do what she thought she must, we were more than willing to work with the cops and answer any of their questions.
I don't know how you would sleep through being raped every night and not know your attacker and continue to let it go on for long periods of time, but apparently she does. It breaks my heart. We didn't kick her out, but we did her boyfriend. So she went too. This time it is to a point that I don't know if we will let her back in with us. She is lying to the cops and telling them things that if they believe could get one or all of my sons or husband put in jail for a long time. I know she is sick, I know she needs help, but I'm not sure we can help, and right now I am not sure if trying to maintain an association with her has more value than damage. So now I find myself talking to police about something I never even imagined that I would.
I guess in the end, I pray for her, I love her, I hope the best for her, but for now I can't have her around. Maybe that will change tomorrow, but for now... I don't like her. I may love her, but I don't like her. I am tired of the hurt, the pain, the stress and mostly the abuse that comes with her. And not just for me personally but for my whole family.